HUMOR FOR THE SOLL True funny stories

Lisa's Nana who is in Heaven pictured above in 'The Mail Room' at DHEC in the 70's.
This page is Inspired by Lisa's sweet Nana . Lisa grew up reading Nana's Reader's Digests during summer breaks.
LISA'S ANGELS ON EARTH AND FROM HEAVEN. I LOVE YOU ! MIZPAH!
Lisa's Mom, Dad and Brother, Jeremy were watching "Cliffhanger" with Sylvester Stalone. Lisa was nearby with 3 year old Chase playing with his LEGO'S. The part in the movie when the woman falls off the rope in between cliffs and she falls, Chase looks up at that moment and says "oops". Needless to say it brought laughs.
Lisa's twin sister, Gina was cocktail waitressing at "The Chopping Block" while she was attending USC. A couple asked Gina for a "rum with coke in it" Gina brings it back to them. A few minutes later the couple motions her over and says "Whaaat is this?" Gina said Rum with coconut. LOL They thought it was hysterical. Lisa was waitressing at Chicago's Grill in Bluffton, SC. A couple came in and the lady was vigorously fanning herself. Lisa asked her "are you hot?" She shook her head no. Lisa then jokingly said "OOOOOOHHH is that what HE (pointing to her husband) does to you?" Her husband said "oh, you are getting a BIG tip for that one. lol Lisa was in Pasco County Jail from drinking too much (PARENTAL ALIENATION) and decided to make the best of it. She made friends with some girls. Lisa self-made the pictionary game. Lisa was trying to get her FRIEND to get the word jock strap. Her friend got the strap part but had a difficult time getting the word jock. Then all of the sudden she belted out "A STRAP ON DILDO!!!!! THE ENTIRE UNIT WAS ROLLING!! Lisa's Aunt Sharon's husband, Gary, was on his weekend with the National Guard. He went to take his socks off when he looked down at his feet all his toenails were painted a bright PINK. Of course all the guys were laughing their tails off. When Lisa's husband Nate was in high school, all his basketball buddies would come over and raid his Dad and Stepmom's fridge after practice. One of his friend's nicknamed Birdsong found a plastic bag with "chocolate" in it and began eating it. Nate said "man you are eating the stool sample for my dog's VET. Still funny today!!! When Lisa's Brother was about 2 on a family trip he said he had to go Poopy. Lisa's Dad said "well just hold your cheeks together son until we get to a stop" A few minutes later they hear Jason moaning and moaning, Jack and Sandra look back and Jason is forcing his face cheeks together! Somehow Lisa's Google Voice assistant heard her say she had to go poop. When Lisa went to pick up her tablet the Voice assistant had responded "okay, I can wait." lol When Lisa was moonlighting for extra income at WG's Wings (Kevin Abbott), she was wearing the then popular perfume named "WINGS". A guy came in to get his to go order and said I smell something good, Lisa said "it's WINGS", he responded " Noooo, it smells like a fragrance". He laughed when she told him she was wearing a perfume called WINGS. HEE HEE Lisa and 5 year old Chase went to pick up his brother Hayden from daycare. The daycare was constantly losing Hayden's Pacifier. This day was no different. So all the staff and Lisa were looking all over for the Pacifier. Chase said it is ovcr there and pointed across the room where everyone ran to. Chase then said "April Fools". It was April 1st. When Lisa's Mom, Sandra, was little she was misbehaving during Church (FIRST CHRISTIAN CHURCH). Lisa's Nana gave Sandra the ole timey glove clamp with a chain hanging from it to occupy her. Little Sandra looked at it squeezed it open and then looked up at Lisa's Pawpaw and clamped it on the tender skin between his nostrils. The chain was dangling, Pawpaw was frantically trying to get it off. The preacher and congregation became aware and it broke up Church with roaring laughter!!! When Lisa's Pawpaw (Charles Franklin Seyfer) was young in school he got in trouble for talking. The teacher told him to go up to the chalk board, draw a circle and stick his nose in it. So He did. The teacher was wondering why the entire class was snickering. Pawpaw was erasing the circle, then drawing another one putting his nose in it until he made it across the entire chalk board!!! Lisa was having Chase's 5 year old Birthday party at her neighborhood pool while she was 8 months pregnant with Hayden. Lisa got a pinata for all the kids. All the kids parents' were watching. The kids were hitting the pinata but all that was coming out was paper filling. Lisa's twin sister said, Lisa you did add candy to it didn't you? Lisa said, it doesn't come already filled? All the adults were rolling with laughter. The kids weren't so Lisa frantically went and grabbed after party gifts and gave them out early. That seemed to smooth things over. Lisa and her twin sister, Gina were with Nana and Pawpaw at Ocean Lakes Campground in Myrtle Beach. She was very young and all had gone to bed. Lisa awoke during the night and remembers thinking " I want to go sleep with Nana and Pawpaw" so she closed her eyes when she awoke she was crawling in between who she thought was Nana and Pawpaw. What Lisa didn't know was she had slept walked into the neighboring camper and was crawling in the bed with a strange couple. They woke Lisa up, Lisa was sooo embarrassed and ran out to find Nana frantically looking for her. She told Nana what happened. The next day Nana went and made friends with them and they all got a good laugh. Lisa wouldn't come out because she was too embarrassed!!! That couple Thank GOD were leaving that day. Lisa wrote a poem about it: Camping at Myrtle BeachAge 9, I reachedWoke up in a camperThat wasn't mineA lady in supineSaid honey wake upA deep voice spokeAnd I awokeMy Nana was franticTill I came around the corner to inform her I slept walked.Next day Nana made friendsNot me I stayed in'Cause I was too chagrined. Lisa's brother, Jason had just recently gotten his driver's license. He had his younger brother, Jeremy to go with him to midnight bowling. They left Jack and Sandra sleeping since it was a work day the next day. Jason and Jeremy were sooo excited especially getting their newly found independence. Well, they made it to the Bowling place, shut the car doors and then Jason realized he locked the keys in the car. Not only did he lock the keys in the car, the keys were in the ignition with the car running!!!lol They had to wake up Jack. Needless to say, he was not a happy camper. Nate and Lisa went to bed. Nate woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. When he came back, Lisa was rolled up in ALL the covers in the winter time. Nate gently tried to slip his foot in to get in the covers. In her sleep, Lisa yells out "GET OUT!!!!" Nate had to sleep without covers. The next night Nate went to the bathroom again when he came back, he was surprised to see Lisa all rolled up in the covers AGAIN!!! Well, he tried to wedge his foot again into the covers without waking Lisa. This time Lisa yelled out "GET OUT, I "FILE" ON YOU, SIR, I FILE ON YOU SIR!!! Nate said "Lisa are you for real?" That woke Lisa up and she said "what are you talking about?" Nate and his Dad, Don were sampling colognes at Macy's aftering eating some spicy Mexican food. All of the sudden Nate said "What is that awful smell?" Don responded it's "Fragrance de shew" lol Lisa was at a gas station near Greystone Blvd with her new Honda CRX in the 90's. Lisa locked her keys in her car. An Officer came to help without success. Another gentleman came up and quickly pulled out a slim jim and unlocked Lisa's car. The Officer looked at the guy with a very stern look, the guy said "I repossess cars for a living" The officer smiled with relief. lol Lisa was selling Dumpster Diving Art on FB Marketplace frequently. She was inundated with code scammers trying to get her personal information by asking for her phone number so they could send a "code" to to authenticate "HER". Lisa knew better. After getting frustrated by all the Code scammers, Lisa took action. Lisa started sending them "her phone number" to send the codes to. Lisa played along and kept them resending the code because "Lisa didn't get the code they sent". After a while, Lisa told the code scammer, "thank you for participating, you have been sending your codes to FBI phone number. LOL That is called justice!!! When Lisa was up in the DV housing program there was a guy who WAS Lisa's friend but he was abusive and Lisa cut him off. Soon after, Lisa got a parking ticket in her driveway for parking over the sidewalk knowing that former abusive guy called it in. Lisa refused to pay it since it stemmed from Domestic Violence. Simutaneously, Lisa was dealing with the neighbor's drug traffic stealing her stuff and the local police did nothing after many calls. Lisa took action. The main drug dealers Van stayed overnight parking in Lisa's driveway over the sidewalk. Lisa went out to her car and looked up to the parking ticket she got. A Lightbulb came on for Lisa. She scratched out her vehicle information and put his under his windsheild wiper blade. Lisa watched him from inside her place go out to his van and he picked up the ticket and read it. Immediately after reading the ticket, his EYES became EXTREMELY BIG WITH FEAR. On the ticket was typed "PHOTO OF VEHICLE TAKEN". Needless to say, Lisa never saw him again on the property. Lisa told her friend, Phillip Rhett (20 years in the Military) what she did, he told Lisa "your off the chain girl!!!" LMAO Lisa's Mom was young and swimming with young teens including males. One of the boys said where are all these cotton balls coming from? Sandra was soo embarrased since her top had been de-cottonballed!!! lol In the 90's Lisa went to meet her twin sister, Gina, at her work, DHEC. Lisa and Gina had identical Red Honda Crx's. Lisa was waiting in the parking lot for Gina to come down to meet Lisa for lunch. Lisa was looking in the righthand direction for Gina. All of the sudden, a loud voice went "AAAAAAAARRRGH!!!!!!!" AT LISA'S WINDOW. Lisa reacted with a blood curdling scream!!! The Guy got a good look at Lisa and said "OH MY GOSH, YOU'RE NOT GINA!" It was Gina's coworker trying to play a prank on Gina. LOL Everyone at DHEC still laughs at it today! Gina had recently been working at DHEC when Gina got a memo inviting employees to an event that listed what would be there. One of the things listed was hors d'oeuvres. Gina excitedly was reading it to her then boyfriend and said " they are EVEN having (how she pronounced it) "OARs da VORs". lol When Lisa and Gina were little they were playing in the Garage and decided to get on Daddy Hamp's convertible top. Well, it RIPPED!!! Lisa and Gina's Mom said y'all are going to get a spankin' when your Dad gets home. Lisa and Gina put a plan in action. When Hamp got home he called Lisa and Gina to come for their spanking. When Hamp looked at their bottoms to spank, Lisa and Gina had put on about 20 pair of underwear each. Hamp's big heart could NOT SPANK Lisa and Gina! Well done TWINS!!! lol Lisa had a Barwick Family get-together when she and her siblings were young on GranNan and GranJack's property at Lake Murray. They had a Shrimp Boil. Well everyone was enjoying eating it. It was Lisa's brother, Todd's first time eating shrimp. GranJack asked Todd how he liked it? Todd said "It's okay but it's a little TOO CRUNCHY" Todd was eating shells and all!!!! lol Nate was pretty disappointed that his business partner stole money from his company. One day, Nate went to the bathroom, came out and told Lisa "you do NOT want to go in there, I just took a NIGER INNIS!!! Laughter is always good for the SOLL When Nate was little, all the family were eating dinner. Nate saw the lima beans and thought to himself "no way am I eating that". Well, dinner was over and Nate's plate was clean. The next day, Nate's Dad, Don put on his jacket heading out to work. Don reached in his jacket pocket for keys and found all of Nate's lima beans in there. LMAO Lisa and Nate had recently married and were staying at Nate's Dad and Mom's house. Well, Billie (Nate's Mom) was fixing dinner for everyone so Lisa set the table. Billie told everyone to come fix your plates. Everyone sat down and Don went to grab his fork and said (in an Archie Bunker way), what the heck kind of fork is THIS? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT WITH THIS? Lisa played a prank on Don. She set his place setting with an OLIVE FORK. Everyone was laughing except for Don (Archie Bunker). Recently, Lisa was walking in the Publix parking lot in Myrtle Beach. A guy leaving Publix caught Lisa's eye with his SUPER BRIGHT ORANGE SHIRT. Lisa said to the guy, "I hope that is the color shirt my ex-husband will be wearing soon". The guy laughed and said "that's a good one, haven't heard that one before" Lisa was in Publix getting a Deli sandwich and walked by an employee with deviled eggs to sample. The guy asked Lisa, "Would you like to try one of these deviled eggs? Lisa responded " no thanks. I try and stay away from the devil" The guy laughed. When Lisa's brother, Todd was young and in the first day of class everyone had to fill out an introduction form for the teacher to read aloud in front of the class. Todd did not like his middle name Kirby (a family name). The teacher read out several kids' full names when she got to Todd, She read Todd NMN Simpson. The teacher,perplexed, said " Todd NMN? Todd replied NO MIDDLE NAME. LOL When Lisa was communicating via email to (Richland County Victim's Advocate) about how Lisa's ex interfered with Lisa and Nate. Lisa told her about Lisa and Nate in High School and that Nate's nickname given to him from the guys in the locker/shower room was Donker. Lisa then told the woman that she deliberately didn't copy this email to the sheriff or her ex-because she didn't want them to feel SMAAAALLLL! LMAO Lisa was sitting in Chick-Fil-A near MB Mall close to the bathroom with it behind Lisa. Well Sweet Pat was checking on all the customers if they needed anything. Well, she had made it to the table behind Lisa next to the bathroom. At the same time Pat was checking up on the table someone came out of the bathroom and Pat said "did everything come out okay?" Lisa could not stop laughing to herself. LMAO One summer Lisa's twin sister, Gina and her husband Kevin Abbott were taking 4 and 5 year old Chase and his cousin, Zack to Myrtle Beach for the weekend. About 30 minutes into the trip, Zack started asking "are we there yet?" Gina and Kevin said, not yet. Zack asked again "are we there yet? Kevin and Gina responded "we will be there in 9 minutes" Zack so excited started chanting "Nine, Nine, Nine, Nine,...Nine, Nine, Nine...Nine, Nine, Nine, Nine" when 4 year old Chase said "that's enough nine" lol (Chase & Zack inseparable 2 peas in a pod) When Lisa and Nate were on foot being stalked by Lisa's ex and his accomplices, they had nothing to eat but cans of beans. After eating, they were walking on Ocean Blvd on the Ocean side of the street. A lady was coming up behind them jogging. Lisa did not know. Nate had turned back and saw her and she motioned with her hand and mouthed she would go around Lisa. As she got close to Lisa, the bean effect blew out louder than a stick of dynamite. Nate said she had this look of horror, put her head down and continued running not jogging to get away from the bean effect.LMAO When Chase was about 9 years old, he came into the kitchen with his MOM, Lisa, and Lisa turned around to start a tickle fight, Lisa said "OH IT'S ON" and Chase said laughingly "OH IT'S OFF" LOL Creative people can FIND SOLUTIONS in any situation. For example: Lisa bought a beautiful pair of high heel shoes and paid 75 dollars she shouldn't have on her budget. She wore them one time and they were extremely painful. Lisa went to return them at J.B. White's Dept. Store. The store clerk looked at the bottom and snapped "I can't take these back they've been worn" as he was looking at the bottom of the shoes. Lisa immediately, put her creative solution skills in action. Lisa went and bought cream white craft paint and painted the bottom of the shoes. They looked brand new. Lisa went to return them to a different store clerk and GOT her $75.00 dollars back with her receipt. Well done Lis (Nate's nickname for Lisa) Lisa was walking around a hotel right before sunrise. She noticed what she thought was a person standing near the side entry door. Lisa's prescription glasses were mysteriously stolen at a Dunkin Donuts in Market Commons so her vision was impaired. Lisa said in her bubbly way "Good Morning!!!" Lisa walked a bit closer and started laughing because she said Good Morning to a pet bag poop stand. lol Lisa still has not recieved her tax refund she filed 2 months ago. Having no money for food, Lisa saw a "Pizza" place and told the guy her predicament and could they spare a slice of pizza. He said maam "we only sell icecream here". It was Cold Stone and Lisa related it to Tombstone pizza. lol When Lisa was about 6 years old, Lisa's Mom and Aunt Sharon had a birthday party for Lisa and Gina. All of Lisa and Gina's cousins were there, too. Sandra and Sharon had the TWINS and all of their cousins stand in line and Aunt Sharon had a ring on her finger. She said we are going to put blindfolds on you and you have to kiss the Kings Ring to win a prize. So they all had bandanas over their eyes. When it got to Lisa's turn, she actually planted a kiss right on the King's Ring! Then Sharon took off the bandana, Lisa looked at where she kissed the ring, it was on her TOE. Back then, Lisa was befuddled about it, but today Lisa realizes she was kissing our AMAZING LORD AND SAVIOR, JESUS CHRISTS' FOOT! AMEN !!! Lisa's Uncle Jack Moore was so frustrated that this particular squirrel kept raiding his tomatoe garden. Since it is illegal to kill them, Uncle Jack devised a plan to trap it and take it miles away. He finally trapped it and drove it about 5 miles away and let the trap door open and out went the squirrel. Uncle Jack felt victorious. Uncle Jack got back in his truck and drove back home. He said "I'll be damn if that squirrel didn't follow me all the way back home" When Chase was little he had to thankfully get tubes for chronic ear infections which halted future ones. Being a Nurse, Lisa checked Chase's ears frequently with an otoscope she ordered. Well, Lisa had to go to work and told her ex-husband, who didn't work in the winter time that he needed to bring Chase in to his Doctor. Chase was at his Pediatrician's about 4 or 5 years old, Chase said "are you going to take out my BLUE tubes today?" His Doctor had a look of shock and asked Lisa's ex. "how in the world does he know the tubes are blue?" Chase answered "My mom is a nurse, she checks my ears regularly and said my blue tubes were loose and needed to come out" Chase said his doctor had a big smile on her face and laughed cause she thought he had a supernatural gift. Little did his Doctor know then, Chase is NOW an AEROSPACE ENGINEER! When Lisa was temporarily living with her Mom Sandra and her dad JACK battling complex PTSD from CDV, Lisa's Mom suggested Lisa paint birdhouses from Gourds. This is when at 49 years old, Lisa discovered this talent she had. Lisa made many and also ones with clay added for body parts. Lisa's Mom had all of them displayed on her table next to the kitchen. Lisa and Sandra were chatting in the living room, when Jack yells out " hey Lisa, I accidentally knocked over your Pelican gourd and he lost his pecker." Lisa's Dad's humor that helped contribute to this awesome page for SOLL. THANK YOU DADDY, HUGGY WUGGY SMILES TO YOU, TOO. MI LISA AND GINA ARE THE OLDEST OF 6 KIDS. THEIR DAD, OF COURSE, WAS VERY CONSCIENTIOUS ABOUT MONEY AND VERY THRIFTY. ONE NIGHT, GINA AND LISA WERE IN THE KITCHEN AND GINA POURED HERSELF SOME ORANGE JUICE. LISA AND GINA'S DAD WALKED IN AND SAID "DON'T DRINK ORANGE JUICE IN THE EVENING, SAVE IT FOR THE MORNING". GINA RESPONDED "DADDY, ORANGE JUICE ISN'T JUST FOR BREAKFAST ANYMORE" (IMMITATION OF THE OLD COMMERCIAL). LISA LAUGHED HER BUTT OFF. DADDY DIDN'T. LOL GINA, LISA'S TWIN SISTER, GOT PULLED OVER BY AN OFFICER. HE CAME TO HER WINDOW AND ASKED "MAAM, DO YOU KNOW WHY I PULLED YOU OVER?" GINA SAID "CAUSE MY INSPECTION STICKER EXPIRED?" THE OFFICER RESPONDED "UH, NOOO BUT THANKS". LOL LESSON LEARNED "SILENCE IS A FRIEND SOMETIMES". HE ACTUALLY PULLED GINA FOR A HEADLIGHT BEING OUT. LOL LISA NEEDED TO FIND OUT WHEN BAREFOOT LANDING CLOSED. SHE ASKED SIRI. SIRI SAID 6 O'CLOCK. LISA WAS LOOKING ACROSS THE STREET AT BAREFOOT LANDING AROUND 7 O'CLOCK WITH A FULL PARKING LOT OF PEOPLE. LISA THEN ASKED GOOGLE VOICE ASSISTANT WHAT TIME THEY CLOSED. GOOGLE RESPONDED 8 O'CLOCK WHICH WAS CORRECT. LISA THEN SAID SIRI YOU SUCK, THE GOOGLE ASSISTANT RESPONDED "UH-HUH". LOL LISA AND GINA WERE AT THEN CALLED COLUMBIA METS (NOW NAMED THE BLOWFISH)MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL GAME. IT WAS INTERMISSION AND LISA AND GINA WENT TO THE CANTEEN. IT WAS PACKED WITH MULTIPLE LINES OF PEOPLE. LISA SAID "I AM HUNGRY, I THINK I WANT A HOTDOG" THEN LISA SAID TO GINA "I AM REEEAALLY HUNGRY, I THINK I WILL GET A FOOTLONG, HOW BIG ARE THEY? GINA RESPONDED, DEMONSTRATING WITH HER HANDS "OH, THEY'RE ABOUT A FOOT...LONG". EVERYONE AROUND US WAS SHAKING WITH LAUGHTER!!! LISA'S PAWPAW ALWAYS HAD A TREMENDOUS SENSE OF HUMOR IN ANY SITUATION. AUNT SHARON HAD TAKEN PAWPAW TO THE DOCTOR WHO DIAGNOSED HIM WITH EARLY STAGE OF ALZHEIMERS AND TOLD THEM HE SHOULD NOT DRIVE ANYMORE. WELL, LATER THAT NIGHT, PAWPAW CALLED SHARON AND ASKED HER WHERE HIS KEYS WERE. SHARON SAID, DADDY DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID, YOU CAN'T DRIVE BECAUSE IT'S NOT SAFE. PAWPAW SAID "THAAAT JUST GREAT, I 'M GOING TO FORGET HOW TO DRIVE." OUR BELOVED PAWPAW, WE MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU SO MUCH. WHEN CHASE WAS ABOUT 2 MONTHS WEANED FROM THE "PACI", LISA AND CHASE WERE IN THE CAR GOING TO FRANKIE'S FUN PARK. IT WAS CHILI THAT DAY SO LISA PUT ON ONE OF CHASE'S JACKETS. AS THEY WERE DRIVING TO FRANKIE'S, CHASE EXCITEDLY SAID FROM HIS CAR SEAT, "MOM, LOOK WHAT I FOUND? MY PACI THAT I LOST, IT WAS IN THIS JACKET. WELL, MOM WASN'T SO EXCITED. LOL LISA HAD 3 DIFFERENT LAST NAMES BY THE TIME SHE WAS 6 YEARS OLD. LISA SHARED THIS WITH (VICTIM ADVOCATE WITH RCSD) AND SAID ONE OF THOSE NAMES WAS LISA SIMPSON SO EVEN HOMER SIMPSON WAS ONE OF HER DADS. LOL LISA'S FRIEND BRYAN AND HIS WIFE, MONICA SHARED ANOTHER FUNNY STORY. BRYAN WAS A BOUNCER IN HIS YOUNGER YEARS. A COUPLE WERE HAVING A VERY HEATED ARGUMENT WHICH BROUGHT BRYAN OVER TO THEIR TABLE. THE WIFE SAID TO HER HUSBAND AS SHE STORMED OUT ,"OF ALL THE THOUSANDS OF SPERM, HOW DID YOURS END UP MAKING IT OUT". BRYAN INTERVENED AND TOLD THE GUY NOT TO LEAVE YET. AFTER ABOUT 20 MINUTES, THE GUY ASKED BRYAN "CAN I LEAVE NOW, THAT WAS MY RIDE." LOL THIS GUY WAS IN JAIL FOR ALCOHOL ABUSE FROM PARENTAL ALIENATION AND HE HAD JUST MET A FEW GUYS. HE INNOCENTLY SAID TO ONE OF THEM "DID ANYONE EVER TELL YOU, YOU LOOK LIKE FIRE MARSHALL BILL?" THE GUY HAD A LOOK OF SHOCK AND FEAR AND WALKED AWAY. HE THEN ASKED ONE OF THE OTHER GUYS WHAT'S UP WITH HIM? THE GUY SAID HE IS HERE WITH ARSON CHARGES HE IS TRYING TO BEAT; HE THINKS SOMEHOW YOU KNOW THE TRUTH. ANOTHER TIME LISA WAS IN JAIL FOR USING ALCOHOL TO COPE WITH COMPLEX PTSD FROM BEING ALIENATED FROM CHASE AND HAYDEN, SHE MET A GIRL WHO WAS A VERY PETITE GIRL BUT TOUGH AS A FIRECRACKER. WELL, ONE OF THE MALE GUARDS WAS BEING ABUSIVE TO THE FEMALE RESIDENTS. THIS GIRL (CAN'T REMEMBER HER NAME) TOLD THAT GUARD "YOU HAVE A DICKIEDOO" THE GUARD SAID "WHAT'S THAT?" SHE SAID "YOUR STOMACH STICKS OUT FURTHER THAN YOUR "DICKIE" DO. LOL. WELL, THE GIRL WENT TO DICKIE LOCKDOWN. TOUGH GIRL! LISA HAD MULTIPLE TRAUMATRAITS FROM COMPLEX PTSD. ONE OF THEM WAS THAT SHE WAS EXTREMELY FEARFUL OF HOTDOGS AND WOULD NOT EVEN EAT ONE BECAUSE IF SHE DID, SHE WAS CHOMPING ON A MAN'S BLANKETY BLANK. LISA, ESPECIALLY, WOULD NOT EAT A NATHAN'S HOTDOG. ONCE JESUS HEALED LISA OF THAT MENTAL TRAUMA, NATHAN'S HOTDOG BECAME LISA'S FAVORITE ! WHEW, THANK YOU JESUS! (NATE'S BIRTHNAME IS NATHAN) Lisa's new friend, Holly, in Oak Island, NC came in the Dollar General with her twin girls and ran into Lisa there. Lisa and Holly were talking about the area. Holly said she used to work at the Walmart in Southport. Holly said they used sell LIVE LOBSTERS in that Walmart until they had a theft. A guy grabbed one of the Lobster's and stuffed it down his pants. He almost got away with it until the rubber bands popped off the pinchers. Well, you could say the Lobster caught himself a running, screaming red weiner. Back in the 90's when everyone still had landline phones, Lisa called her sister Gina at her home. Well, someone answered it with a clinkety clank clank and heavy rapid breathing. It wasn't Gina so Lisa called out, "Is that you, Cody (Gina's German Shephard)? Cody responded, AROOOOH, AROOOH AROOOOH. LISA SAID "HEY CODY!!! I LOVE YOU!" When Chase, Logan and Zack were in the Toddler age area. Lisa was over at Gina's house with 2 year old Chase. Mimi and Poppy were there too. It was close to Christmas time and Christmas pictures were scheduled the next day with a photographer. Well, all the grown-ups were in the living room talking and the boys were in the adjacent playroom. Well, all of the sudden, Logan comes around the corner just as proud as he could be of chopping his own first haircut with the kid safety scissors. Sporadic chunks cut out. Everyone except for Gina busted out laughing. Gina had no choice but to shave his head for the next day pics. When Lisa and Gina were little they were traveling on the highway from Valdosta, Ga to Columbia with their Mom and Nana. There were no rest areas and Mom really had to go to the bathroom. Well, Nana pulled over to the side to let Mom tinkle. Mom just opened her door and squatted down out of the highway traffic view. All of the sudden, a carload of young teenagers rolled by and chanted out "Weeeee knoooww what you're doooing Weeeee knoooww what you're doooing JESUS has an amazing sense of humor. Lisa was in Oak Island, North Carolina, and the last hurricane affects were pouring buckets out of the sky and Lisa needed to go to the store which was way up the road and only had a bicycle for transportation Lisa was riding the bicycle and the sidewalk ran out it's dark so the only option was to ride down the large open center lane. There were no cars out. Everyone was tucked into safety then all of a sudden a police officer rolls up beside her in a police truck. He said why are you riding down the center of the road? Lisa said "the sidewalk ran out and that was the only safe option." He said "it's against the law you need to get off your bike and walk your bike to the store from inside his safe and dry truck". He told Lisa this in the pouring down rain with the truck to get off the bicycle and walk to the store in the muddy gullied roadside. Lisa told him "I'm better than that dang LAW" and kept riding to the store. Well, Lisa shot down his ego so in retaliation he waited for Lisa TO DRIVE BACK ON HER BIKE TO GIVE HER A TICKET. JESUS came to LISA's RESCUE and brought HOLLY TO THE STORE AT THE PERFECT TIME. She and her husband drove LISA BACK TO HER HOTEL. Mr. Spoiled EGO waited and waited for Lisa on her bike but JESUS INTERVENED. If he knew JESUS, he would've done what ANDY GRIFFITH WOULD HAVE DONE AND OFFERED TO THROW THE BIKE IN HIS TRUCK AND GIVE HER A RIDE TO The store and back home. THANK YOU JESUS!!! Another time JESUS INTERVENED TO RESCUE LISA FROM THE POPO's WAS WHEN LISA COMMUTED 2 HOURS A DAY TO WORK FROM NORTH AUGUSTA, SC TO COLUMBIA,SC. LISA GOT WAY TOO MANY SPEEDING TICKETS AND HER INSURANCE WAS ABOUT TO HINDER HER HOUSE PAYMENTS. WELL LISA WAS HEADING TO WORK SPEEDING TO GET TO WORK ON TIME AND IN HER REARVIEW MIRROR, SHE SAW A TROOPER WAY BACK BEFORE HE WENT DOWN A HILLY DIP ON THE HIGHWAY. LISA PUT HER FOOT FULL BLAST TO THE FLOOR AND EXITED OFF A RAMP BEFORE HE COULD SEE HER. Lisa WAITED A FEW MINUTRS AND GOT ON THE ON RAMP AND WATCHED THE TROOPER WITH LIGHTS FLYING TO FIND HER BUT JESUS SAID NOPE! WHEW, THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!!! LISA WAS HUNGRT WITH NO MONEY AND WENT TO A CRACKER BARRELL IN MYRTLE BEACH WHERE SHE HAD previously ASKED this same MANAGER BEFORE WHO GAVE HER WHAT YOU WOULD GIVE A DOG. Lisa went in this time and saw she was working and decided to wait for shift change. As Lisa was waiting for the next manager outside on their chuech benches, a lady walked by with her pooch who had not been in the restaurant. Several minutes went by and Lisa said to JESUS "I BET THAT MANAGER IS ONE OF THOSE WOMEN THAT WOULD FEED A DOG OVER A HUMAN! Well at the perfect time JESUS SENT THAT MANAGER OUT WHO ASKED LISA "Is there a dog out here?" LOL Well, JESUS CONFIRMED IT AND LISA JUST GIGGLED. well God blessed Lisa a TRUE CHRISTAIN ON THE NEXT SHIFT. Lisa enjoyed a fabulous full Turkey and dressing complete meal! GOD BLESS HER JESUS!!!!!!!!' JESUS IS SO HILARIOUS! THIS LADY ON LISA's INSTAGRAM WAS FILMING HERSELF WALKING DOWN A SIDEWALK AND SAID "JESUS, CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME A HAND HERE?" WELL A FEW STEPS LATER SHE LOOKS IN FRONT OF HER AND A BLOWN UP GLOVE RESEMBLING A HAND WAS THERE. LOL HER GAVE HER A HAND. I OVE YOU JESUS!!! ANOTHER FUNNY JESUS ACT WHEN A MAN WAS HEATING UP HIS SKILLET OUTSIDE PARTIALLY UNDER THE LARGE CHICKEN COUP. HE TURNED BACKWARDS TO GRAB AN EGG TO COOK. WHILE HIS BACK WAS TURNED A CHICKEN DROPPED AN EGG THAT ROLLED OFF THE ROOF RIGHT ON THE SKILLET. WHEN HE TURNED BACK AROUND HE HAD AN EGG SCRAMBLING! HE WAS LOOKING ALL AROUND TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT! LOL AT THE END OF THE SUMMER IN OAK ISLAND, THEY HAVE BANDS COME FROM ALL OVER NORTH CAROLINA AND AT THE END OF THE NIGHT THEY HAVE FIREWORKS . WELL CLOSE BY IS SUNSET GRILL WHERE YOU COULD HEAR THE BANDS. ONE OF THE WAITRESSES, NAMED HANNAH, CAME OUTSIDE TO THEIR OUTSIDE PATIO TO PLUG IN THE OUTDOOR LIGHTS. AT THE SAME TIME SHE WAS PLUGGING INTO THE OUTLET,THE BLAST OF EXTREMELY LOUD FIREWORKS STARTED. HANNAH WAS SHOCKED CAUSE SHE THOUGHT SHE DID IT!!! LOL RECENTLY POSTED IS AN ASTOUNDING SIGN OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WITH THIS: "WHEN PEOPLE (MEN OR WOMEN) CAN'T CONTROL YOU (DOMESTIC VIOLENCE), THEY TRY TO CONTROL (DOMESTIC VIOLENCE) HOW PEOPLE VIEW YOU!" THIS WAS POSTED BY A FACEBOOK FRIEND OF LISA'S, ANGELICALLY NAMED, ANDREW BARWICK.
Picture above is a "car" battery Lisa spotted when she only had 50 dollars for a new battery for her car. She jumped when she saw this battery for only 22.40. She brought it to the check out and said will this fit in my car, the clerk said "maam that is for a lawn mower, no it won't fit. LOL
2 PEAS IN A POD
Lisa met a girl named Brittany who is Cherokee Indian like Lisa. Brittany said that her sister was going to set her up with a guy name, Matt before she came down from Michigan to North Carolina to see her. Matt also Cherokee Indian was over at Brittany's sister's home. Brittany's sister told Matt in a protectve way, told him he better not hurt his sister as she is holding a stock of celery and smacking him on the shoulder as she was talking. Matt responded by saying " Let's put down the vegetables can talk about this peacefully. l
VINTAGE GLOVE CLAMP

GOD'S LITTLE CRUMBCRUNCHERS! GRANAN'S NICKNAME FOR HER GRANKIDS.
GRAPHIC DESIGN ON THIS PHOTO BY: MATTHEW LIGGIERI (CHEROKEE INDIAN). GOD BLESS YOU MATT!

DAAAD!!! WHAT'D YOU DO, EAT THE SAME BEANS ME AND LIS DID? SHEEEEWWW!



"YOU'RE BEING LISALAW'D."
TAKE THE DEVIL OUT, I SURRENDER!!
TOOT FOR DONKER13 !!!

DO YOU NEED ANY NAPKINS OR ANYTHING? EVERYTHING COMING OUT OKAY?
PUT MULTI-VERSUS (BIBLE SCRIPTURES IN HAPPY MEALS FOR KIDS!
HEY COLDSTONE! CAN I HAVE SOME CRABBY PATTY PIZZA?
LISA WAS LED TO THE ABOVE DOLL BEHIND A PRINGLE'S HARVEST BLEND CAN IN THE CHIP AISLE. LISA'S DAD'S NAME TO ALL HIS GRANKIDS IS POPPY!
SUPER BUGZ1 - HE EVEN GIVES PAINLESS PEDICURES!!
SIR, I AM THE ONE WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT THE INSPECTION STICKER, I SHOULD GET A DISCOUNT SHOULDN'T I?
JAIL GUARD IN HIS DICKIE UNIFORM
CHASE, LOGAN, ZANE, HAYDEN, ZACHARY, AND WALKER LEFT TO RIGHT. CHRISTMAS 2007 CHASE AND HAYDEN WITH THEIR COUSINS. LAST TIME THEY HAD A CHRISTMAS TOGETHER DUE TO PARENTAL ALIENATION.